Dear Spiritual Companions,

Last week I watched a show on PBS entitled, “The Buddha.”  I recommend it highly.  It was very informative, but it also gave me an insight about suffering that I had never read or heard before.  Someone said Suffering was better defined as Disappointment.  It was an aha moment for me.  I have no trouble feeling or understanding suffering, but disappointment is even better.  I have used the latter approach on myself for years.  It was something I learned as a child.  No matter how hard I tried or what kind of effort I put into anything, it was never going to be good enough.  I don’t know whether this is an attempt by parents to encourage us to improve or be better than we are, but it can add a lot of suffering.  That at least has been my experience.  Instead of living a life of peacefulness there is a certain malaise we carry within.  Some people simply become strivers, while others give up and don’t even try because what good will it do?  The key is to give up our grasp of a disappointment style of living and realize no matter what we do it is always good enough.  Does that mean we couldn’t have done it better?  Of course we can always do it better, but becoming perfect is not what the spiritual journey is.

For the Buddha, enlightenment came with accepting every moment just as it is and living in it.  A Buddhist statement is, “Before enlightenment chop wood, after enlightenment chop wood.”  I would say, “Before disappointment do the best you can, after disappointment do the best you can.”  Life in God has nothing to do with how we are Doing.  That is our ego trying to distract us from living in God.  Life in God is letting each moment be what it is.  God is not disappointed in us.  That is a creation of religion based on rules and the law of Doing.  We may begin our journey with God there, but then we discover a mercy of Love that accepts us as we are.  Striving to be is simply folly.  We are already Being, so why would we strive to Be what we already are?  The Buddha taught that when we realize we are suffering then the next step is to become aware of our disappointment.  This is then followed by letting go.  Once we do all of that then we can get on with simply living as we are.  To put this into a Christian context it is to be reminded of what Jesus said, “The Kingdom is already in your midst.”  We already have it, so we don’t have to arrive or prove ourselves to some demanding god.  Heaven isn’t some time in the future, but realizing it in this moment.

When I am disappointed with myself or transfer that onto someone else, I need to simply become aware of the uneasiness inside of me.  When I do, then I can say to myself, “Oh it is disappointment once again.  Hello old friend.  How have you been?  Everything is alright so you can leave me peacefully until the next time.”  Can you feel the lightness?  Can you feel the peacefulness?  Isn’t it great to not have to be anything other than who we are?  As we realize this we no longer are using our energy, or inner spirit, to become better.  Now we can use that energy to be ever more fully who we are.  The ego thinks the only way we can become better is by being disappointed in self.  God knows this never works, so God comes to us and tells us how much God appreciates who we are.  This positive approach encourages us to embrace our Self as we are.  Now we can fulfill our co-creating dream with God we set into motion before time began.

As always we have a choice.  We can continue to live with disappointment and join with our ego in thinking this will enable us to do something that will make us standout.  Or we can accept God’s approach, to let go of that attachment, so we can learn more what it means to be who we are in God.  If we accept the latter don’t forget that is never a once for all time choice.  The adventure of this spiritual journey is to make the choice over and over again.

Peace,

Gary

Dear Spiritual Companions,

Having a concept of God is so tricky.  Who told us we could ever define the Essence of All There Is?  I love the Jewish Religion because it can’t even say the Name of G-d.  I also love the Hindu Religion because of the number of Gods it has.  Zen works with koans that have no answers so that one can not know the Identity of God.  The book entitled, “If you meet the Buddha on the road kill him,” says it all.  So what is this desire to put God in a box by defining what we thing It is?  Why can’t we accept the idea that God is Unknowable?  The best we can hope for is caught in the image of grasping at a definition of God symbolized in a closed hand.  If we open the hand and extend the fingers we find ourselves pointing at what God could be.  We are not saying this or that is God.  No, we are pointing at the endless possibilities of God’s Identity.  I invite you to go out in to a dark area on earth at night and look up at the stars and many galaxies that hide endless universes.  God is like that – endless and mysterious, ongoing and creating forever.

If you are still with me, now we can look at what happens if we live with the endless and mysterious nature of God.  We are free from having to define the Undefinable.  As a Pastor for 35 years I spent so much of my time trying to define God.  One thing I learned along the way was it could not be done.  People expect Pastors or Religious Leaders to have the answers to such questions of Identity or the Meaning of Life.  When one does not, then the spiritual journey begins in earnest.  Moses asked God to tell him who He was and after some prodding God replied, “I Am Who I Am.”  What does that mean?  The only thing I could come up with is God is Being.  All that has been, All that is, and All that will be is God.  That is obviously not a definition filled with clarity.  I say Good.  It is instead an invitation to more.  What does that line mean to you?  If you are anything like me it is too much to comprehend,  We are left with something that is beyond words – Nothing.  Break that word down and you get No Thing.  God is No Thing which means no definition. 

God is beyond words.  God is found in emptiness with No Thing.  The question now becomes one of then why do we try to define that which cannot be defined?  Good query isn’t it?  When we give up the search we can encounter God on God’s Terms.  When we become open to living life as it is, without those endless questions of why it is what it is, we can simply live it as it is.  This is where I have discovered the God of no Essence.  My words, which will one day end with this physical existence, no longer are my source of strength.  I now can venture into the unknown, the darkness and endless possibilities knowing in my heart that I am not alone.  There is a Being with me that has been there, is there and will always be there.  Now what happens doesn’t have to be explained, it just has to be lived.  The funniest thing is life is exactly like that, so why not embrace what is.  Now, along with God, we can say I Am Who I Am.

It is all so mysterious, but it has such a comforting feeling to it.  The search for meaning and explaining God among many other things is no longer necessary.  For me it is like a wonderful piece of cherry pie.  All I need do is enjoy it by being present to the moment of eating it.  Like life, God is found in that delicious piece of pie.  Worth pondering don’t you think?

Peace,

Gary

Dear Spiritual Companions,

I read something the other day about how our willfulness gets in the way of God’s Will.  I do not believe in a God who has any difficulty with our willfulness.  God created everything, so therefore God is responsible for our desire to play god.  In the Christian tradition this is Holy Week and in so many ways it is filled with human willfulness.  The bottom line is we want what we want when we want it.  This goes for what is happening in our lives, our country, our religion or anything else that is important to us.  Willfulness is about our ego desires in this life.  When we have given our existence over to our ego, we have lost our focus on the bigger picture.  Our ego will die one day as well as everything else in this life, so if are depending on this life or our ego for any lasting meaning we will be filled with futility.  This is good because one needs to see what they don’t have before they can see the possibility of what they could have.  It is a part of this journey of being human.  It is also why God would not have any difficulty with us being willful.  I know this goes against the idea of punishment for our supposed selfish acts, but so be it.  A simple question to ponder is why would God find any meaning in punishment?

So how do we know when our willfulness is getting in the way of God’s Will?  We begin asking ourselves a question,  ”Is that all there is in life?”  We find our definition of what is important isn’t fulfilling us anymore.  This leads to a certain uneasiness inside of us.  We suddenly are aware of the moment and begin to see our lives in a new way.  Maybe what someone else defines as meaningful isn’t.  Maybe what some religious group says is necessary isn’t.  Maybe what used to fulfill us no longer does.  Maybe this or that relationship has lost its intimacy.  It might be time for us to live with such thoughts or feelings.  Meditating, sitting in nature, pondering life as we go to sleep or wake up now become precious moments.  We have slowed down enough to begin to take a look at those maybes.  If we have the courage to sit with them, we can begin to see where they lead us.  We can breathe new life into them by noticing and spending time with our own breath.  We might even notice where they appear in our body.  It is what I believe Jesus did in the Garden of Gethsemane.  I believe he was chatting with God about an alternative to the cross and death.  When Jesus realized this life and his ego were more important than God’s will he said something like this, “Not my willfulness, but your will be done.”  By letting go of this life we find so much more.  We are so limiting in our thoughts and ways of living life.  When we wake up to this fact we might hear God saying, “Did you ever think of living this way instead?”  Notice there is no demanding us to do it this way, but rather simply to dare to look at another possibility.  

When we give up our willfulness we find such richness and quality in living every moment.  When we realize there is no arm twisting from God, we can remove ourselves from the arm twisting done to us by others or Institutions.  Actually we see that kind of behavior as contrary to how the spirit is leading us.  There is growing clarity of what to do or think.  There is less fear of failure, because we have come to realize there is no such thing as failure.  By missing the mark in life, being willful, we simply see it as an opportunity to learn and choose a different way.  This goes back to why God is not a Being who punishes.  We are moving from a child like relationship with God, one filled with fear or punishment, to an adult relationship, one filled with different choices or behaviors with no threats.  Jesus, like other spiritual beings who have come to reveal a new way we might like to try, uses Holy Week to be an example of how God works with us to find the best way of living. 

If you are a Christian, I invite you to walk through this week looking for Jesus’ example for your life.  If you are a Buddhist, Hindu, Muslim or something else, I invite  you to revisit your spiritual example. See how they are speaking to you about another way to move from willfulness to God’s Will.

Peace,

Gary

Dear Spiritual Companions,

Dear Spiritual Companions,

It has been four and a half years since Hurricane Katrina struck the Gulf Coast.  Just recently I visited the Mississippi Gulf Coast for the first time since the hurricane.  I had been putting this off because I remembered what it looked like before Katrina and wasn’t ready to see what had happened to something I loved.  Well the time had arrived to face death and it was haunting.  We drove down the gulf highway in Waveland Mississippi and it still wasn’t totally paved.  In addition, the houses along the highway going back for a mile were gone.  Many of the trees were also gone leaving a very desolate feeling.  This was the case on into Bay St. Louis, Pas Christian, Long Beach into Gulfport.  The highway had been paved in Bay St. Louis, a new bridge connecting Pas Christian and Bay St. Louis had been opened  six months before and a number of homes had been built, so there has been progress.  The problem for me was the magnitude and scope of the destruction and the reality of how long and how much effort will still need to be expended to recover what has been lost.  I feel an inner need to process this trip spiritually, emotionally and internally before I am able to rejoice in the progress.  I believe this to be true because the others who have been there a number of times and seen the after effects are able to focus more on the progress.  I believe that is because they have worked through the pain and emptiness of seeing what they loved no longer there.  Just like life isn’t it?

We know life changes and eventually ends, but knowing that doesn’t always make it easier to experience it.  There are so many outer and inner realities that need to be faced to get to the point of acceptance.  I am not overly wrapped up in houses or things.  Don’t get me wrong I still like them, but as I get older they have less value.  I have come to realize the fleetingness of life so relationships mean much more to me than things.  When I saw the destruction and so many homes gone I felt the pain of the families who had lived there and are unable to come home.  When I saw so many trees blown away by wind or water I thought of swings on those trees or loves carved into the bark in the shape of a heart.  I reflected on many different individuals who found God under an oak tree that is now gone forever.  Grief is what I felt for them and that doesn’t even begin to speak about the birds and animals who claimed that area as their habitat.  Emptiness seems to be a prevelant feeling for me, but over time I know God will fill that emptiness  with something else.  That process describes for me the gift of letting go, even if you have no choice in the matter.

One of the most wonderful things about being able to write and share my thoughts like this, is the knowledge that it often touches something deep inside of you.  When I was a Pastor and preached I was often humbled when someone would come up to me after the service and say to me, “How did you know I needed to hear exactly what you said?”  Obviously I didn’t which reminded me of another Loving Force at work in my spirit.  In my retirement my writing has replaced my preaching and so I am very touched when others say, “I wait for your writings because I know they will speak to me in ways I need to be spiritually touched.”  We are  connected by love so what  I felt so strongly on the Gulf Coast you feel in your life, but in a way that speaks to your needs and evolving spirit.  This is the beauty of God for me.  God knows we are connected not by the exact same thoughts or feelings, but rather we are connected by similar experiences that touch our collective spirit.  You have encountered destruction and loss during your life.  You have had someone or something you loved ripped out of your life.  You have seen various aspects of Mother Nature and Her creation affected in hellish ways.  We are not alone in this journey called human existence.  Knowing that, I believe, on a very deep level is one of the keys to being able to move through the catastrophes in our lives.

I thank you for riding with me the other day as I saw the destruction of the Gulf Coast for the first time.  I felt your loving arms surround me and hold me as I felt so lost.  I can go back there again now and know it will be easier the next time because I will be more aware of your spiritual presence.  I hope the same will be true for you as you dare to encounter the Gulf Coast losses in your life.

Peace,

Gary

Dear Spiritual Companions,

I sometimes wonder how the spirit is going to lead me when it comes time to write these weekly spiritual thoughts.  Today was one of those days.  Slowly, as my quiet time unfolded this morning, it came to me.  I will write about how in life we are often called to unlearn what we have been taught.  This is not meant to be a criticism of anyone who has taught us in the past.  No, in fact, one of the keys to unlearning is found in having something someone has passed on to us to unlearn.  It has carried significance for us for a period of time, but it is no longer needed. To be more specific it no longer fits in our view of life.   What  I have discovered over my lifetime of spiritual enlightenment is the gift of seeing when to hang onto certain thoughts and when to let them go.  Like an artist we are constantly painting the tapestry of our journey of learning and unlearning on our heart.

I think we are now ready for a question, “When is it time to learn something and when is it right to unlearn that very same thing?”  For me I know it is the moment to learn something when I feel it speaking to my spiritual being.  My inner being is like a little child inside of me who is jumping up and down getting excited about what is speaking to me.  The learning may come through an event, a conversation, a musical piece, something I am reading or a moment in nature.  It really doesn’t matter what venue it comes through or if no one else has similar experiences, it is lifting my spirit.  Each of us have a different journey so naturally we will be spoken to in ways that make sense to us and we can trust our inner voice.  This is extremely helpful when we encounter those who have the same answer for everyone or are sure they know what is right for us.  It is very wise to thank them and run in the opposite direction.  Religious, cultural and governmental Institutions are very tempted to have everyone follow the same path.  Free thinking or free spirits are dangerous to the perpetuation of the Institution.  It is alright for individuals to learn the stated doctrine of the group, but not acceptable to unlearn it.  Those on their own spiritual journey may still be a part of an Institution, but they will not accept the party line.  They may remain a part of the group because it is their calling, but they will be the very ones who open the doors to the evolution of the group itself.  One caution however, one really needs to be in touch with their own spirit to be a part of an Institution because is hard to continue to be who we are in the midst of doctrines and truths abounding around us.

Now it is time to address the second part of the question, When is it time to unlearn what we thought was so fitting?  For me I begin to feel a bit uneasy with a particular learning.  At the same time I run into ideas or individuals who challenge what I considered to be the truth.  The only way to move forward is to trust our spirit.  Sometimes what we have learned is simply the first step in being a part of a club.  We need to know the rules to join.  We accept what is being taught and it enables us to move along until the teachings don’t make any sense any more.  This is the crucial moment because now we are ready to reexamine them and choose whether they still fit our present spiritual needs.  Is it the moment to venture into new thought patterns or behaviors?  If we decide it is time there is a simple test to see if these new learning’s fit us.  If it is the right time we will feel the following: peace, joy, love, patience, kindness, gentleness, forgiveness, generosity and self control.  Any, a few or possibly all of them will go along with our new learning.  We may, however, still be tempted to get others to join us, but that is simply an attempt to get outside approval for our inside insights.   When we know something is right for us it doesn’t matter who is with us or against us.  We trust in the very essence of life for us.  We become a pathfinder for our own journey.  We are now free.  Life becomes an experience of learning, unlearning, learning, unlearning into eternity.  When life is static, when we think we have reached our destination we probably have something to unlearn.    

The bottom line for me is the more I have learned the more I realize how much is still to be learned.  I find this not only a very helpful way to live my life, but also an exciting way.

Peace

Gary

Dear Spritiual Companions,

I may be a slow learner, but I recently discovered much in life is nonsense.  As I broke the word down further I saw it as non sense.  There are things in life that seem to make more sense than others.  The key to living life fully, for me, is to spent my life doing those things that make sense to me.  What do you think?  Well if you agree than all we need to do is define what makes sense for us.  What I see as valuable to me may not be what you see and that is perfectly legitimate.  What doesn’t seem to make sense is everyone agreeing on everything and thereby thinking and acting alike.  It seems to me we live in a time of conformity.  Like a teenager who has to dress like one’s peers or thought to be odd, we are told we need to think the same or act the same to be in step with the times.  NON SENSE!  The paradox about this is found in the creative folk, the ones who think differently than others, the ones who are the most helpful for religion, society, psychology and spirituality,etc.  They are celebrated for their gifts, but they drive those with the answers in their chosen fields crazy.  In fact, if given a chance the powers to be will try to do away with them as quickly as possible.  So if we choose to trust our own inner heart beat be ready for the possibility of being misunderstood and attacked, but that is alright because it is only nonsense.  I think it makes more sense to live by that which gives us the greatest joy, no matter what another may think or say about us.

I believe a lot of pressure is removed from our lives when we are able to define what makes sense for us and what doesn’t.  The basic gift is we now live life in awareness of it and not judgment of whether it is good or bad.  To become aware is for me the first step in our spiritual journey.  To use another religion’s perspective it is to be mindful of what is occurring in the present moment.  We are now conscious of our own lives and the only time we become aware of another’s words or actions is if what they are doing affects us.  As we become mindful of someone Else’s action we become aware.  We are not caught in the trap of having to make a judgment about that person and what they are saying and doing, but rather we are now mindful of what is good for us.  We act accordingly with when it seems to make sense to disengage or ignore their actions if it affecting us in a nonsensical manner.  The beauty of this understanding is now we have found a way to let go of past hurts from long ago.  There is no SENSE in hanging onto the past when it is gone.  Often times the only reason we do is because we don’t think we have any other choices.  Again I say NONSENSE!  We always have a choice.  No matter what one does to us we have a choice of how we can healthfully handle it.  The only way someone can get into our heads is if we invite them in.  Talk about good sense that is it.

I have had a lot of hurtful experiences in my life.  Things were done to me or said about me that didn’t make any sense.  I was often the biggest critic of my actions.  When I wasn’t perfect, which of course is the human condition, I would berate myself.  Early in my life I would cry out against those who hurt me and I would hold onto their actions against them.  As I matured I did less of that with myself and others and it took less time to let go of the hurt.  Now in the latter part of my life  I find so much of it nonsense.  It was simply life being life, me being me and people being people.  As I became more aware and mindful of this I have let go of most of it.  There are some residues that simply take more forgiveness work.  This too shall pass is now my motto.  When I imprison myself by thinking life should be other than what it is I find the door to inner peace wide open.  Walking out the door is making more and more sense all of the time.  Shall we hold hands and walk out together? 

Peace,

Gary

Dear Spiritual Companions,

Did God ever invite you to get off your religious high horse?  I had that experience recently.  God is never critical, but rather invitational, so when I heard from Her she asked me who I served.  Interesting question in this Lenten time isn’t it?  As we face the temptations of our lives, at the bottom of them is found who we are serving.  Henri Nouwen often talked about the temptation of being relevant.  Behind this is the Lord of making a name for yourself so God can appreciate all of our doings.  Obviously this is a religious message carried down to us through the ages.  If our ego and god is going to live on long after we are gone we have to be relevant!  But possibly God doesn’t care about whether others appreciate our actions for we are already appreciated as we are by God.  Another word for this is Grace.  When we accept this gift then God’s Spiritual Horse comes along to pick us up and we are ready for the ride of a life time!

I am a year into my retirement and God has been revealing ways that I can still be of service.  It has been wonderful to discover a whole new life rising up before me.  The only problem has been that temptation of relevance.  Am I doing enough, will people notice my writing and appreciate all the wisdom I have to share?  As I raise those questions and face the fallout from them I become anxious.  The minute I am aware of the uneasiness within me I know something is not quite right.  When I am in sinc with God things flow and harmony abounds.  When I am on the wrong path I doubt and life is a little off for me.  This is when my quiet time comes into play.  I begin to ask what is wrong?   At the right time in the right way for me God speaks through my reading, walking, praying or simply being.   So recently God said, “Who do you serve?”  I said, “You of course.”  God said, “Oh really.  Is what I place in front of you every day not enough?  Do you not trust that life as it is isn’t sufficient?”  The great thing about God is She is asks open ended questions.  The query’s placed before me were ones to ponder.  Could I be serving my ego instead of God?  Could I be looking for something other than life as it is?  Could I be missing the impact I am making in the Name of God?  I decided to get on God’s Spiritual Horse and ride for a bit pondering my life as I knew it.  What a great feeling it is to have the spirit’s breeze of peace pass over me.

The major difference between riding the religious horse and the spiritual horse is found in the destination.  With the religious horse we will hopefully find relevancy, perfection, right answers, a sense of control and a God created in our image.    With the Spiritual Horse we will discover irrelevancy, imperfection, right questions, a lack of control and a God creating us in a Graceful Image of who we can become.  It seems a little crazy to ride God’s Horse, but then it was silly for the spiritual folk who preceded us to do what they did.  All I know is I felt more peaceful after I got off of my religious high horse to once again ride on God’s spiritual Horse.

Peace

Gary

Dear Spiritual Companions,

Yesterday was a big day in the life of New Orleans – our football team, The New Orleans Saints won the Super Bowl.  You would think the big deal would be related to winning the game, but NO it is related to what winning the game means to the city and its team.  Often what happens to us externally has no ultimate effect until we look at what is happening internally.  For the longest time New Orleans has been looked upon as a sports city made up of losers and many of us living here have accepted this external notion.  Of course this is not true.  In God’s Realm there are no losers, there are only events in life where we might lose a game of football.  What happens in our outer world simply does not change our inner identity.  In 43 years of existence as a football team we never won a Super Bowl let alone even made it to one.  As a city we allowed this to be one among many events that labeled us as losers.  The biggest and most devastating example of this was Hurricane Katrina which arrived on August 29, 2005!  We have been trying so hard to put our city back together since then.  The courage individuals have shown in doing this as well as putting their homes back together reveals the heart and soul of an inner city of champions.

Many of the members and coaches of the New Orleans Saints arrived in 2006, right after the Hurricane.  They saw the devastation of our city and the lack of response from governments on many levels.  Their hearts were affected in ways they never dreamed could be possible.  When something touches us deep inside it affects the way we see our outer reality.  A significant love affair between a football team and a city on it’s knees began to grow.  Now I know some people may say I am getting caught up in the excitement of the victory in Super Bowl 44, but I don’t think so.  I have lived in many cities during my life and followed many different teams.  I have experienced the bond made between those cities and teams, but I have never seen the intimacy present here.  It is like a healthy relationship where what happens to me affects you and vice versa.  This is what I believe makes this time and place unique.

When something life changing occurs, especially like a hurricane, there is an opportunity for individuals and life defining moments to meet spirit to spirit.  So many times we ask why did this terrible hurricane affect so many people?  It is truly the wrong question.  My wife, youngest daughter and I were here when Katrina hit.  We did a “Vertical Evacuation.”  We were in the Airport Hilton Hotel, on the third floor, when Katrina hit. The winds were blowing close to 100 mph when the electricity went out in the middle of the night.  It was one of the scariest moments in our lives which we will never forget.  That is not however what I focus on.  What I remember were the brave individuals who came from around the country to help us rebuild and continue to come to help us.  I remember acts of kindness by individuals who had little or nothing and were willing to share what little they had.  I remember people who did not lose hope in spite of boarding buses to destinations to places unknown.  Many of those persons have not returned or have found new and safer residences in other cities.  When out outer world falls apart God invites us within our hearts where Love is stronger than chaos and death.  The right question to me becomes, “How does God do this?”  The only answer I have discovered is “It is a Mystery.”

This Mystery also describes the bond between the City of New Orleans and its football team The Saints.  This team was awarded it’s franchise on All Saints Day.  New Orleans is  a Catholic Community and naturally that particular day means a lot.  I don’t think it was by accident we were awarded a franchise on that day, in fact, I see it as one of those Holy Coincidences.  This year was described as a year of destiny for the Saints.  Most people refer to the meaning of that statement because they won it all.  I know a God who truly isn’t into who wins and loses at sporting events.   Rather a God who uses certain events to offer an opportunity to affect our destiny.  If we can believe that we can overcome a lot of obstacles.  Who can say how much helping to put this city back together affected the way the team played on the field?  But what I do know is it has affected the responsibility they feel to helping a city and it’s inhabitants find new life.  God, I believe is using and has been using a hurricane named Katrina to transform a city, a football team and many other individuals who have come to help.  Disaster can bring new life if seen from within. 

From my spiritual perspective I see what happens within us intermingling with what is happening outside us.  We can use the gift God has given us, what is within us to transform what is outside of us, or we can hold onto a self defeating question of why does God allow destruction?  The choice is up to us.  The City of New Orleans and its football team, The New Orleans Saints, has chosen to build on their intimate relationship based on internal gifts.

Peace

Dear Spiritual Companions,

I was talking with a friend yesterday and we were talking about what is real.  One can get very philosophical about this or even religious, but that is the trap of the ego and I don’t want to get caught up in that today.  Instead, I want to ponder What is Real?  To ponder, of course is to sit with or live with an idea or thought or life event.  It doesn’t entail seeking an answer, although one may come.  It doesn’t mean we have to fix anything or anyone.  It doesn’t even mean we have to have someone agree with us.  To me reality lives in what simply is.  It is our opportunity to get off the  merry go round of being busy or productive.  We don’t have to please anyone or prove our worth, even to our-self.  We have a God given right to be here and enjoy the ride called life.  We are actors on the stage of existence and we can take in the drama, tragedy, comedy or even folly unfolding in our life.

My major understanding of reality is that what I think is real often is just the door to meaning.  I can always tell when I am caught up in too much reality.  I am upset.  I don’t like what is happening.  What someone has said or not said or what someone has done or not done has far too much power in how I feel.  This has even more impact on me when I am the one who has said something I wish I hadn’t or had, done something I wish I hadn’t or had.  I am stuck on what I think is real rather than the meaning of a life event.  e. e. cummings wrote something that has stuck with me for a long time – “Nothing matters but the circus!”  On the surface that statement makes no sense.  No it doesn’t unless you ponder it.  Like a Zen koan there really is no answer found in trying to understand what it means.  It is simply living with cummings line that reveals a deeper meaning.  Like the circus of life nothing matters but the meaning it offers.  In that gift we will find what is real – Love.

Many people have tried to define Love, but it is like trying to define God.  Once you do you have lost God.  Love is the doorway to the Mystery of God found in not trying to wrap everything neatly in a box.  How things happen, how we were born, who we meet, the events of every day, what we see or read that fits so perfectly with out inner life is simly Amazing.  I have discovered how letting life be Amazing is so much better than figuring out how it became amazing.  The time I spend trying to understand life causes me to miss the moment of amazement.  The most fantastic part of this might be found in coming to experience how our various attempts at figuring out life is the doorway to letting life be what it is.  We come to see how all the effort to find out what is real is not helpful and thereby helpful because we don’t have to do it any more – Amazing! 

This is a lot to ponder so rather than continuing to write I invite you to discover, through these words or pondering them, your reality.

Peace