Dear Spiritual Companions,

It has been four and a half years since Hurricane Katrina struck the Gulf Coast.  Just recently I visited the Mississippi Gulf Coast for the first time since the hurricane.  I had been putting this off because I remembered what it looked like before Katrina and wasn’t ready to see what had happened to something I loved.  Well the time had arrived to face death and it was haunting.  We drove down the gulf highway in Waveland Mississippi and it still wasn’t totally paved.  In addition, the houses along the highway going back for a mile were gone.  Many of the trees were also gone leaving a very desolate feeling.  This was the case on into Bay St. Louis, Pas Christian, Long Beach into Gulfport.  The highway had been paved in Bay St. Louis, a new bridge connecting Pas Christian and Bay St. Louis had been opened  six months before and a number of homes had been built, so there has been progress.  The problem for me was the magnitude and scope of the destruction and the reality of how long and how much effort will still need to be expended to recover what has been lost.  I feel an inner need to process this trip spiritually, emotionally and internally before I am able to rejoice in the progress.  I believe this to be true because the others who have been there a number of times and seen the after effects are able to focus more on the progress.  I believe that is because they have worked through the pain and emptiness of seeing what they loved no longer there.  Just like life isn’t it?

We know life changes and eventually ends, but knowing that doesn’t always make it easier to experience it.  There are so many outer and inner realities that need to be faced to get to the point of acceptance.  I am not overly wrapped up in houses or things.  Don’t get me wrong I still like them, but as I get older they have less value.  I have come to realize the fleetingness of life so relationships mean much more to me than things.  When I saw the destruction and so many homes gone I felt the pain of the families who had lived there and are unable to come home.  When I saw so many trees blown away by wind or water I thought of swings on those trees or loves carved into the bark in the shape of a heart.  I reflected on many different individuals who found God under an oak tree that is now gone forever.  Grief is what I felt for them and that doesn’t even begin to speak about the birds and animals who claimed that area as their habitat.  Emptiness seems to be a prevelant feeling for me, but over time I know God will fill that emptiness  with something else.  That process describes for me the gift of letting go, even if you have no choice in the matter.

One of the most wonderful things about being able to write and share my thoughts like this, is the knowledge that it often touches something deep inside of you.  When I was a Pastor and preached I was often humbled when someone would come up to me after the service and say to me, “How did you know I needed to hear exactly what you said?”  Obviously I didn’t which reminded me of another Loving Force at work in my spirit.  In my retirement my writing has replaced my preaching and so I am very touched when others say, “I wait for your writings because I know they will speak to me in ways I need to be spiritually touched.”  We are  connected by love so what  I felt so strongly on the Gulf Coast you feel in your life, but in a way that speaks to your needs and evolving spirit.  This is the beauty of God for me.  God knows we are connected not by the exact same thoughts or feelings, but rather we are connected by similar experiences that touch our collective spirit.  You have encountered destruction and loss during your life.  You have had someone or something you loved ripped out of your life.  You have seen various aspects of Mother Nature and Her creation affected in hellish ways.  We are not alone in this journey called human existence.  Knowing that, I believe, on a very deep level is one of the keys to being able to move through the catastrophes in our lives.

I thank you for riding with me the other day as I saw the destruction of the Gulf Coast for the first time.  I felt your loving arms surround me and hold me as I felt so lost.  I can go back there again now and know it will be easier the next time because I will be more aware of your spiritual presence.  I hope the same will be true for you as you dare to encounter the Gulf Coast losses in your life.

Peace,

Gary