Dear Spiritual Companions,

I read something the other day about how our willfulness gets in the way of God’s Will.  I do not believe in a God who has any difficulty with our willfulness.  God created everything, so therefore God is responsible for our desire to play god.  In the Christian tradition this is Holy Week and in so many ways it is filled with human willfulness.  The bottom line is we want what we want when we want it.  This goes for what is happening in our lives, our country, our religion or anything else that is important to us.  Willfulness is about our ego desires in this life.  When we have given our existence over to our ego, we have lost our focus on the bigger picture.  Our ego will die one day as well as everything else in this life, so if are depending on this life or our ego for any lasting meaning we will be filled with futility.  This is good because one needs to see what they don’t have before they can see the possibility of what they could have.  It is a part of this journey of being human.  It is also why God would not have any difficulty with us being willful.  I know this goes against the idea of punishment for our supposed selfish acts, but so be it.  A simple question to ponder is why would God find any meaning in punishment?

So how do we know when our willfulness is getting in the way of God’s Will?  We begin asking ourselves a question,  ”Is that all there is in life?”  We find our definition of what is important isn’t fulfilling us anymore.  This leads to a certain uneasiness inside of us.  We suddenly are aware of the moment and begin to see our lives in a new way.  Maybe what someone else defines as meaningful isn’t.  Maybe what some religious group says is necessary isn’t.  Maybe what used to fulfill us no longer does.  Maybe this or that relationship has lost its intimacy.  It might be time for us to live with such thoughts or feelings.  Meditating, sitting in nature, pondering life as we go to sleep or wake up now become precious moments.  We have slowed down enough to begin to take a look at those maybes.  If we have the courage to sit with them, we can begin to see where they lead us.  We can breathe new life into them by noticing and spending time with our own breath.  We might even notice where they appear in our body.  It is what I believe Jesus did in the Garden of Gethsemane.  I believe he was chatting with God about an alternative to the cross and death.  When Jesus realized this life and his ego were more important than God’s will he said something like this, “Not my willfulness, but your will be done.”  By letting go of this life we find so much more.  We are so limiting in our thoughts and ways of living life.  When we wake up to this fact we might hear God saying, “Did you ever think of living this way instead?”  Notice there is no demanding us to do it this way, but rather simply to dare to look at another possibility.  

When we give up our willfulness we find such richness and quality in living every moment.  When we realize there is no arm twisting from God, we can remove ourselves from the arm twisting done to us by others or Institutions.  Actually we see that kind of behavior as contrary to how the spirit is leading us.  There is growing clarity of what to do or think.  There is less fear of failure, because we have come to realize there is no such thing as failure.  By missing the mark in life, being willful, we simply see it as an opportunity to learn and choose a different way.  This goes back to why God is not a Being who punishes.  We are moving from a child like relationship with God, one filled with fear or punishment, to an adult relationship, one filled with different choices or behaviors with no threats.  Jesus, like other spiritual beings who have come to reveal a new way we might like to try, uses Holy Week to be an example of how God works with us to find the best way of living. 

If you are a Christian, I invite you to walk through this week looking for Jesus’ example for your life.  If you are a Buddhist, Hindu, Muslim or something else, I invite  you to revisit your spiritual example. See how they are speaking to you about another way to move from willfulness to God’s Will.

Peace,

Gary

Ignorance

   Is such a loaded word

It can alienate us from others

   As well as from ourselves

It can create opportunities for our ego to be in charge

   I know more than you do

   I have the truth

   How can you be so stupid

      Nothing comes from this except division

Could ignorance have a deeper meaning

   Like simply ignoring this or that

By not listening I may be showing my ignorance

   I am ignoring your plea to be heard

      We can be so alone when no one cares enough to listen

   I am ignoring my inner plea to learn

      Growth often comes from those who think differently than me

   I am ignoring my own fear

      What happens if I don’t have all the answers

   I am ignoring the way life is

      Gone today here tomorrow

Ignoring seems easier to accept than ignorance

   To be ignorant indicates I am not perfect

Maybe  I need to ignore perfection

   To see my beauty shine through my imperfection

How am I revealing my ignorance

   By ignoring life as it is

Dear Spiritual Companions,

Transformation or transcendence

   What is our choice for life

I believe we have been taught to transcend life

   Too many temptations every day

   We certainly can’t learn from them

   They will cause us damage

   They will lead us astray

      So naturally we need to move beyond this

Maybe

   Maybe not

Like most of this adventure we call life

   It is how we look at it

Your temptation might be my gift

   Or just the opposite

By living in life not trying to transcend it

   I might find myself transformed

So much of life is about destination

   What about the journey

Did we come to this life to miss it

   Or did we come to learn from it

All depends on your definition of God

   Or whatever Name you call God

Does God see us as defective

   If so we need to transcend ourselves

Does God see us as perfect

   If so do we

      If not this life is for transformation

The most amazing grace is

   The choice is up to us

Dear Spiritual Companions,

It has been four and a half years since Hurricane Katrina struck the Gulf Coast.  Just recently I visited the Mississippi Gulf Coast for the first time since the hurricane.  I had been putting this off because I remembered what it looked like before Katrina and wasn’t ready to see what had happened to something I loved.  Well the time had arrived to face death and it was haunting.  We drove down the gulf highway in Waveland Mississippi and it still wasn’t totally paved.  In addition, the houses along the highway going back for a mile were gone.  Many of the trees were also gone leaving a very desolate feeling.  This was the case on into Bay St. Louis, Pas Christian, Long Beach into Gulfport.  The highway had been paved in Bay St. Louis, a new bridge connecting Pas Christian and Bay St. Louis had been opened  six months before and a number of homes had been built, so there has been progress.  The problem for me was the magnitude and scope of the destruction and the reality of how long and how much effort will still need to be expended to recover what has been lost.  I feel an inner need to process this trip spiritually, emotionally and internally before I am able to rejoice in the progress.  I believe this to be true because the others who have been there a number of times and seen the after effects are able to focus more on the progress.  I believe that is because they have worked through the pain and emptiness of seeing what they loved no longer there.  Just like life isn’t it?

We know life changes and eventually ends, but knowing that doesn’t always make it easier to experience it.  There are so many outer and inner realities that need to be faced to get to the point of acceptance.  I am not overly wrapped up in houses or things.  Don’t get me wrong I still like them, but as I get older they have less value.  I have come to realize the fleetingness of life so relationships mean much more to me than things.  When I saw the destruction and so many homes gone I felt the pain of the families who had lived there and are unable to come home.  When I saw so many trees blown away by wind or water I thought of swings on those trees or loves carved into the bark in the shape of a heart.  I reflected on many different individuals who found God under an oak tree that is now gone forever.  Grief is what I felt for them and that doesn’t even begin to speak about the birds and animals who claimed that area as their habitat.  Emptiness seems to be a prevelant feeling for me, but over time I know God will fill that emptiness  with something else.  That process describes for me the gift of letting go, even if you have no choice in the matter.

One of the most wonderful things about being able to write and share my thoughts like this, is the knowledge that it often touches something deep inside of you.  When I was a Pastor and preached I was often humbled when someone would come up to me after the service and say to me, “How did you know I needed to hear exactly what you said?”  Obviously I didn’t which reminded me of another Loving Force at work in my spirit.  In my retirement my writing has replaced my preaching and so I am very touched when others say, “I wait for your writings because I know they will speak to me in ways I need to be spiritually touched.”  We are  connected by love so what  I felt so strongly on the Gulf Coast you feel in your life, but in a way that speaks to your needs and evolving spirit.  This is the beauty of God for me.  God knows we are connected not by the exact same thoughts or feelings, but rather we are connected by similar experiences that touch our collective spirit.  You have encountered destruction and loss during your life.  You have had someone or something you loved ripped out of your life.  You have seen various aspects of Mother Nature and Her creation affected in hellish ways.  We are not alone in this journey called human existence.  Knowing that, I believe, on a very deep level is one of the keys to being able to move through the catastrophes in our lives.

I thank you for riding with me the other day as I saw the destruction of the Gulf Coast for the first time.  I felt your loving arms surround me and hold me as I felt so lost.  I can go back there again now and know it will be easier the next time because I will be more aware of your spiritual presence.  I hope the same will be true for you as you dare to encounter the Gulf Coast losses in your life.

Peace,

Gary

Stay Right Here

   Or Be Here Now

Which of these two approaches to life bring peace

   The first seems to be a command

      How do I feel when someone tells me

         Think this way or act this way

   The second seems like an invitation

      How do I feel when I have a choice

         To live or think a whatever way

Maybe the answer lies in who is in charge of my life

   The first indicates I am

      One of the surprising myths of life

   The second indicates I am along for the ride

      One of the surprising realities of this moment

Maybe the answer lies in harmony

   The first indicates I need to control life

      Another one of those surprising myths

   The second indicates there is no controlling anything

      One of the surprising realities of this moment

I can not stay here

   For the moment I do here is gone

I can always be here however

   Because there is no moment than now

Is life a command performance

   Or

Is life an invitation to nor perform

Dear Spiritual Companions,

I sometimes wonder how the spirit is going to lead me when it comes time to write these weekly spiritual thoughts.  Today was one of those days.  Slowly, as my quiet time unfolded this morning, it came to me.  I will write about how in life we are often called to unlearn what we have been taught.  This is not meant to be a criticism of anyone who has taught us in the past.  No, in fact, one of the keys to unlearning is found in having something someone has passed on to us to unlearn.  It has carried significance for us for a period of time, but it is no longer needed. To be more specific it no longer fits in our view of life.   What  I have discovered over my lifetime of spiritual enlightenment is the gift of seeing when to hang onto certain thoughts and when to let them go.  Like an artist we are constantly painting the tapestry of our journey of learning and unlearning on our heart.

I think we are now ready for a question, “When is it time to learn something and when is it right to unlearn that very same thing?”  For me I know it is the moment to learn something when I feel it speaking to my spiritual being.  My inner being is like a little child inside of me who is jumping up and down getting excited about what is speaking to me.  The learning may come through an event, a conversation, a musical piece, something I am reading or a moment in nature.  It really doesn’t matter what venue it comes through or if no one else has similar experiences, it is lifting my spirit.  Each of us have a different journey so naturally we will be spoken to in ways that make sense to us and we can trust our inner voice.  This is extremely helpful when we encounter those who have the same answer for everyone or are sure they know what is right for us.  It is very wise to thank them and run in the opposite direction.  Religious, cultural and governmental Institutions are very tempted to have everyone follow the same path.  Free thinking or free spirits are dangerous to the perpetuation of the Institution.  It is alright for individuals to learn the stated doctrine of the group, but not acceptable to unlearn it.  Those on their own spiritual journey may still be a part of an Institution, but they will not accept the party line.  They may remain a part of the group because it is their calling, but they will be the very ones who open the doors to the evolution of the group itself.  One caution however, one really needs to be in touch with their own spirit to be a part of an Institution because is hard to continue to be who we are in the midst of doctrines and truths abounding around us.

Now it is time to address the second part of the question, When is it time to unlearn what we thought was so fitting?  For me I begin to feel a bit uneasy with a particular learning.  At the same time I run into ideas or individuals who challenge what I considered to be the truth.  The only way to move forward is to trust our spirit.  Sometimes what we have learned is simply the first step in being a part of a club.  We need to know the rules to join.  We accept what is being taught and it enables us to move along until the teachings don’t make any sense any more.  This is the crucial moment because now we are ready to reexamine them and choose whether they still fit our present spiritual needs.  Is it the moment to venture into new thought patterns or behaviors?  If we decide it is time there is a simple test to see if these new learning’s fit us.  If it is the right time we will feel the following: peace, joy, love, patience, kindness, gentleness, forgiveness, generosity and self control.  Any, a few or possibly all of them will go along with our new learning.  We may, however, still be tempted to get others to join us, but that is simply an attempt to get outside approval for our inside insights.   When we know something is right for us it doesn’t matter who is with us or against us.  We trust in the very essence of life for us.  We become a pathfinder for our own journey.  We are now free.  Life becomes an experience of learning, unlearning, learning, unlearning into eternity.  When life is static, when we think we have reached our destination we probably have something to unlearn.    

The bottom line for me is the more I have learned the more I realize how much is still to be learned.  I find this not only a very helpful way to live my life, but also an exciting way.

Peace

Gary

What is church

   Building

   People

   Community

Yes but there is more

   More than denomination

   More than religious affiliation

   More than a code of shoulds and oughts

Yes and there is even more

   Unconditional Love

   Unconditional acceptance

   Unconditional being who we are

Want some more

   Emerging and evolving all the time

   Changing and becoming

   Defining and redefining

Ready for the best part

   Imperfection revealing true perfection

   Forgiving when it seems impossible

   Leaving fear behind to embrace eternity

What is Church

   For you

Dear Spritiual Companions,

I may be a slow learner, but I recently discovered much in life is nonsense.  As I broke the word down further I saw it as non sense.  There are things in life that seem to make more sense than others.  The key to living life fully, for me, is to spent my life doing those things that make sense to me.  What do you think?  Well if you agree than all we need to do is define what makes sense for us.  What I see as valuable to me may not be what you see and that is perfectly legitimate.  What doesn’t seem to make sense is everyone agreeing on everything and thereby thinking and acting alike.  It seems to me we live in a time of conformity.  Like a teenager who has to dress like one’s peers or thought to be odd, we are told we need to think the same or act the same to be in step with the times.  NON SENSE!  The paradox about this is found in the creative folk, the ones who think differently than others, the ones who are the most helpful for religion, society, psychology and spirituality,etc.  They are celebrated for their gifts, but they drive those with the answers in their chosen fields crazy.  In fact, if given a chance the powers to be will try to do away with them as quickly as possible.  So if we choose to trust our own inner heart beat be ready for the possibility of being misunderstood and attacked, but that is alright because it is only nonsense.  I think it makes more sense to live by that which gives us the greatest joy, no matter what another may think or say about us.

I believe a lot of pressure is removed from our lives when we are able to define what makes sense for us and what doesn’t.  The basic gift is we now live life in awareness of it and not judgment of whether it is good or bad.  To become aware is for me the first step in our spiritual journey.  To use another religion’s perspective it is to be mindful of what is occurring in the present moment.  We are now conscious of our own lives and the only time we become aware of another’s words or actions is if what they are doing affects us.  As we become mindful of someone Else’s action we become aware.  We are not caught in the trap of having to make a judgment about that person and what they are saying and doing, but rather we are now mindful of what is good for us.  We act accordingly with when it seems to make sense to disengage or ignore their actions if it affecting us in a nonsensical manner.  The beauty of this understanding is now we have found a way to let go of past hurts from long ago.  There is no SENSE in hanging onto the past when it is gone.  Often times the only reason we do is because we don’t think we have any other choices.  Again I say NONSENSE!  We always have a choice.  No matter what one does to us we have a choice of how we can healthfully handle it.  The only way someone can get into our heads is if we invite them in.  Talk about good sense that is it.

I have had a lot of hurtful experiences in my life.  Things were done to me or said about me that didn’t make any sense.  I was often the biggest critic of my actions.  When I wasn’t perfect, which of course is the human condition, I would berate myself.  Early in my life I would cry out against those who hurt me and I would hold onto their actions against them.  As I matured I did less of that with myself and others and it took less time to let go of the hurt.  Now in the latter part of my life  I find so much of it nonsense.  It was simply life being life, me being me and people being people.  As I became more aware and mindful of this I have let go of most of it.  There are some residues that simply take more forgiveness work.  This too shall pass is now my motto.  When I imprison myself by thinking life should be other than what it is I find the door to inner peace wide open.  Walking out the door is making more and more sense all of the time.  Shall we hold hands and walk out together? 

Peace,

Gary