Dear Spiritual Companions,
As I get older I have become more conscious of endings in my life. It is like a chapter of this time on earth is over. At certain times I am sad, but at other times I am very happy. There are experiences in life which fill me with joy. I hate for my ice cream cone to be finished. When I listen to some jazz I want the music to play on forever. The strange thing is as I get older too much of a good thing is too much. Now as I enter my retirement I am glad my ministry work is over. I loved what I did, but I am ready for new challenges. It is exciting to think there is more to life.
Have you ever felt like what I just described? Too much of a good thing or time for new challenges? How do we KNOW what is right for us? How do we KNOW when too much is too much? How do we KNOW when it is time for a new challenge? I believe it is found in the definition of Knowing. To me, to know myself is what this journey called life is meant to be. My identity is found in my relationship with God. If I know God I will know myself. I will have accepted the Call to be a Co-Creator with God. I am not God, yet I am a part of God. The best description I have heard of that last line is, “I am a drop of Love in the Ocean of God’s Love.”
Sometimes I think we want the good to last because we don’t trust it will come again in some other form. There are always more ice cream cones or jazz performances. Once I accept this then I don’t have to hang onto this moment. Every moment is precious in God’s Time. Now it is easier to KNOW when this moment of good is over so I can prepare for the next. I may be surprised by all the goodness yet to come. In addition, KNOWING this allows me to celebrate what has been and to get ready for the next challenge. As I begin my retirement time I have been startled by how much more is in store for me. All I knew was ministry in a church setting. Now I am discovering how much ministry there is outside of the church setting. Let me give you another example, “As a Christian I don’t have to have everyone believe the way I do. Now I can see God’s beauty revealed in other experiences of God’s Ocean of Love found in Buddhism, Hinduism, Judaism etc.” A different Knowing in truth enhances my present Knowing.
A good test of KNOWING is to go back into the past and see if it still fits. I went to church yesterday and it wasn’t the same. It didn’t fit my present journey. I Knew that quite quickly. To make it fit my present life only caused me inner pain and anxiety. That chapter in my life has ended. It may open in the future, but for now it is over. I am discovering different church experiences that do fit. I invite you to reflect on times you tried to go back only to discover it didn’t fit any longer. God is encouraging us to move on because there is so much more of life to experience.
To KNOW or not to know that is the question.
Peace,
Gary