Dear Spiritual Companions,

In my quiet time this morning the thought came to me from God, “Your problem is you doubt.”  There was no criticism in the comment, just a statement about my approach to life.  I believe that humans are the same.  What is different between us is the level of doubting we embrace.  Everyone has a certain amount of it, but each of us deals with it in our own unique way.  This letter is written for those who have  a question about the way their life is unfolding.  Behind every doubt, I believe, is an unfulfilled expectation.  One of the greatest examples of this was the Christ meeting the Disciples after His Resurrection.  Thomas was not present at this first encounter and when told of the Christ being alive he said, “I will not believe unless I can touch the holes in  his hands and feet and side.”  The Christ appears again with Thomas being present and He asks him to put his hands in the holes in his hands, feel and side.  Then the Christ says those famous words, “You believed because you saw and touched.  How much greater it will be for those who do not see and yet believe!”  This was not a criticism of Thomas, but rather a statement of what life is like when we face our doubts and notice the expectations behind them.  Who could blame Thomas for doubting someone coming back to life?  It simply is not a part of our expectations.

God has blessed me in endless ways throughout my life.  For some reason when an issue of money or some other part of life that is a hot button for me arises I often doubt.  Just because God has helped me through these problems before doesn’t mean it will happen again this time.  That is how my mind works and I would say a mind that is disengaged from my heart.  To me the heart is the center of our spiritual reality.  So often we are in our heads and thinking too much.  We are rational beings trying to make sense of the mystery we call life.  I have discovered that to be blessed over and over again by God is a mystery, especially if I haven’t done anything to earn this Grace!  It is only in our hearts where we see taking life as it comes as the only reality that matters.  There was a benediction I always used when I served communion.  The one line that struck me was - “Live in God abundantly, pray continuously and give thanks no matter what happens for my God’s Grace nothing can utterly defeat you!”  Our doubts slide away when we live according to those words.  Our expectations begin to fall away also.

Let’s take a closer look at those words.  First live in God abundantly.  What does it mean to live in abundance?  To me it means having enough of what we need.  We live in a time when there never seems to be enough.  We have turned our abundance into a time of scarcity and it drives us to drink, use drugs, get lost in the addiction of sports, force our way on others in different countries and cultures, claim other’s natural resources as belonging to us.  If we dared to look at our supposed scarcity we might see how unrealistic it is.  By looking at our needs as being outside of us we give our inner power away.  If we look at our needs as being within us then abundance is a reality.  In this moment we have enough to eat, air to breathe, money, friends and inner peace.  If we look further than this moment we will get into trouble because then our inner expectations of not having enough raises its head.  Many spiritual groups tell us that the most important discipline is the one where learn how to we stay in this moment.  I peek at the buisiness section in our daily paper and am amazed at how one day the economy is recovering and the next day it is not.  My personal economy is fine and I would guess most of you reading this would say the same.  Doubts can arise when we read bad news, but they can also arise when we read good news because we know it could be different tomorrow.  This moment is fine, but the next one could be bad so why do we choose to leave this one?  To pray continuously is the way to live in this moment and not let our minds wonder into supposed problems that may never happen.

Now we come to the part about giving thanks no matter what happens.  That is a challenge especially when things are not going well or the way we expect them to.  It is a challenge to trust in a God who brings life out of death, abundance out of scarcity and seeing how our adventure of life always working out in spite of death and unmet expectations.  I believe by asking some challenging questions we might discover some answers in our heart.  Why do we choose to not be happy?  Why are we waiting for the other shoe to drop?  Why do we think God has created a world or lifetime for us that is harmful?  Why did Thomas not believe in Jesus’ resurrection?  I encourage us to ponder those questions.  By finding out where they may lead us we may discover a way to live this life in a peaceful abundant way no matter what is happening in the outer world.  This is true because nothing can utterly defeat us!  By living with this knowledge we might discover others we encounter being puzzled by our behavior in spite of having problems, illness or financial questions.  They might ask us “What’s going on?”  We now can show them the way to a life of believing in spite of having doubts from time to time.  We might reveal how many expectations we have given up along the way to live freely which can help them to do the same.  If enough of us did this our leaders in our churches and government could believe health care for everyone is a just and right action to take.  They could see how sending more troops to Afghanistan is a continuation of scarcity thinking.  Who knows working for inner peace might actually be the way rather than forcing peace through warfare?  After all it is true that nothing can utterly defeat us!

What do you feel in your heart about these ideas?

Gary