Dear Spiritual Companions,

I have been doing some reflection about something.  I have been told by some spiritual heavyweights like Jesus, Buddha, Gandhi, Krishna and many others to love or be there for another person no matter what is going on in their life or mine.  This is perplexing to me because what about if I follow their advice and it leads to co-dependent behavior.  Or if those very actions are done by me to fit some unhealthy inner need to prove I am acceptable in God’s eyes.  What about my behavior which simply enables someone else to continue their own destructive patterns.  I have heard and read that it is not helpful to enable others who have no desire to be responsible for their own actions.  The best alternative on my behalf and theirs is to turn and walk away.  How do I make peace with this dilemma?

First and foremost I think it is very important to listen to our own spirit’s leading.  To try to make a right answer for every similar situation is just a hidden attempt on our part to control our lives.  For example, if someone comes up to me on the street and has alcohol on their breathe I need to make sure I don’t give them money.  If I make this a rule I am off the hook in an uncomfortable situation.  I can turn and walk away.  Maybe if I listen to my spirit God may be encouraging me to give the person money simply to fall deeper in the gutter.  Maybe then the person may finally take some action.  Or maybe my spirit may encourage me to take them to a restaurant for food.  Like everything else in life cookie cutter actions do not fit every situation.  God may want us to feel the messiness of life or the helplessness in not being able to fix someone else’s predicament.  We can only feel this if we give up what someone else thinks is right for us or a law that fits every circumstance.

Life is so challenging when we are left to struggle with it on God’s Terms.  God is a Mystery and we want to remove this truth.  The wonder of knowing what to do or not do fades if we have a set approach in life.  This does not allow for our own spiritual growth and understanding.  It does not allow for God’s growth before our eyes.  The best example for me is when someone says this is who God is and who God is not.  When the disciples came to Jesus and told Him someone was doing good deeds, but not in His Name – stop them Jesus!  He responded, “It doesn’t matter whether they are using my Name or not.  If they are doing good that speaks for itself!”  It doesn’t matter what Name our God has, as long as we are growing in Love for God, ourselves and others.  No more control in life for us with the thought of who is the true god for everyone.  Now we can let God be different according to our needs or different cultures needs or different times in history’s needs.  There is no right and wrong, there is only what works and doesn’t work in our life and its different opportunities.  Now Mystery is allowed to reign.

The line about right and wrong can be very perplexing to those of us who have to know what is right and what isn’t all the time.  How else can be know if we are perfect or not?  If we dare to change our attitude about the importance of doing things right we can understand how right and wrong can be what works and what doesn’t.  Jesus at one point says to His disciples, ”If you enter a village and you share God with them and the people do not respond, shake the dust off your feet and move on.”  Even though Jesus said this there may be times when our spirit encourages us to stay around.  This fits the idea of “If you meet the Buddha on the road kill Him.”  The thought behind that line would again be letting someone else define our behavior for us.  Even if it is Buddha it would be better off if this kind of spiritual behavior would die.  It seems to me that this journey of life is to draw closer in relationship with God.  This means working with the Source of all life on what works and doesn’t work for us.  Now together with God we can decide what is the “Right action” for us is.  Sometimes it may be to help the person with alcohol on their breathe and sometimes it might be to walk on by that same person in need.  As much as I feel uncomfortable with this uncertainty it still feels better then following someone else’s instruction in my life that doesn’t make any sense in my life or is not right for my spirit.

I am pondering this in my spirit so if you have some insight that works for you, please let me know – even if your response is similar or different from mine.

Peace,

Gary

Ever been depressed

   Not clinically but really sad

Ever wonder why this is the case

   Maybe it is because of not listening to your spirit

The word depressed means

   Pressed down

      Specifically the leadings of our spirit

What could be pressed down for us

   A relationship of love not present

      Because of our present one

         The one not filling our spirit with joy

   An illness

      It has caused our spirit to be sick

         Because we have made it our fault

            Or we aren’t healed because we lack faith

   A missed moment

      One filled with the wonder of life

         Because we were thinking of the  past or future

            Moments long gone or never to come

Our life can be depressing

   When we listen to the wrong messages

      Either from inside of us

         The ones not centered in God’s Love

      Or from the experts outside of us

         The ones not centered in God’s Love

Our life can be filled with great joy

   When we leave or change relationships not based in God

   When we realize illness is often not our fault

   When we let go of control so this moment can be this moment  

How uplifting life is

   When we let it be what it is

Did you know you are unique

   There is only one of you

   You can not be duplicated

What does that say to you

   Does it make you feel special

   Does it increase your value

      In your eyes

      The only eyes that really matter

      Because no one knows you the way you do

No one can tell you what to think or feel

   No one knows what is right for you

   So be careful if anyone does tell you who you are

      They may be guessing and they may be wrong

Life is an adventure

   It is meant to be enjoyed

   Who knows what mountain you will climb

   Who knows what job you will have

   Who knows

   Who knows

   Who knows

So be who you are

   Believe you can do anything

      For anything is possible

      For someone as special as you

Did you know you are an author

   Now you are a published one

   Because you have a published quilted book about you

You are letting everyone who reads it know who you are

   Maybe you are talking about what you like

     To do

     To read

     Or maybe to reveal your dreams

     Or who your friends are and why

As I read your writings

   I wanted to find out more about you

   Because you are interesting

   Because you would make a great friend

   Because you are like me

   Because you are different from me

I hope this is just the beginning of your writing

   You have so much more to say

   There are so many people like me

      Who want to know you

Dear Spiritual Companions,

I recently read that President Obama was speaking to a group of students in Virginia.  He was asked this question by one of the students, “If you could choose anyone in history to have dinner with, alive or dead, who would you choose?”  The President thought for a couple of minutes and responded, “Gandhi.”  Rather surprising.  Not President Abraham Lincoln or Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., but rather Gandhi.  I am very encouraged by his answer.  I have been a pacifist for the majority of my adult life.  I was a conscientious objector during the Vietnam War and worked in a Hospital for two years to fulfill my service obligation.  I could not bring myself to killing another human being or supporting such efforts.  This came from my reltionship with Jesus and his encouragement to turn the other cheek and to do good for harm.  Gandhi built his non-violence approach partly on his reading of the Beatitudes and Sermon on the Mount of Jesus.  What an interesting revelation of who President Obama is.

In the Bhagavad Gita there are some interesting stories that lead up to the opening verses.  In one of the stories Duryodhana and Arjuna come to Krishna to request help in their war.  Krishna gives them a choice.  Either they can choose an army of 200,000 warriors equal in strength to Krishna or Krishna who will not fight.  Because Arjuna was seen first he was given first choice.  He choose Krishna.  Duryodhana was delighted.  Who do you think President Obama would choose and putting this in the context of Christianity would it be Jesus who wouldn’t fight or all of our weapons.  Not a bad thing to discuss with Gandhi.  Going a step further who would we choose?  Or would we support President Obama if he decided to not fight?  My hunch would be most of us would choose the warriors.

The key to me is not in the choice, but what is behind the choice.  If you are still with me let’s take a look at what is going on behind the scenes in our hearts.  What is it within us that needs an army and bombs to protect us?  What are we looking for from this kind of lifestyle?  I believe what is important is to admit that we are afraid.  If we deny this and keep our fears in the darkness we will continue to walk through life unconscious.  Now we can seek our inner fears to see what is driving us to all of our crazy actions or non-actions.  Wars are first and foremost fought inside of us.  Jesus and all of the spiritual leaders have spent considerable time on their inner journey so they could see why their outer journey was evolving the way it was.  For example, if I am afraid of what you can do to me I will be defensive or offensive with you.  If I am not fearful I can accept you as you are and not have to fight you.  Who you are is no longer a threat even if you are different than me.

I am encouraged by President Obama’s choice of Gandhi because he was inner driven.  If he wanted to change the world he always began with himself.  A mother once brought a child to him because she was frustrated with her son’s eating habits.  It seemed he loved sweets.  She asked Gandhi to talk with him.  Gandhi told the Mom to bring him back in a week.  When she brought him back Gandhi talked with him and things seemed to improve.  The Mom thanked Gandhi and then asked why he had to wait a week.  Gandhi replied that he had to give up sweets first before he could know what was going on with her son.  He had to know what it felt like to not eat something before he could chat with him.  War will never end until we get in touch with our fears so we can be open to the fears of others, which maybe very similar to ours.  It may seem easier to fight someone else to impose our will, but in truth the minute we turn our back they go back to the way it was before.  If on the other hand if we work to get to know what is going on in our lives we will want to also know what is going on in theirs.

President Obama recently ended the missile shield plan for Eastern Europe that President Bush started during his presidency.  Some leader said that Obama was giving into the Russians at the expense of security.  The Russians responded by acknowledging the President’s act by saying they were going to reduce their missile program.  At the same time they are also going to look into their support of Iran, which just happens to be one of our major concerns.  Sounds like the spirit of Gandhi might actually be helping the world to change a bit.  Is everything fixed?  Of course not, but there seems to be a different more Godly approach that is being tried. Maybe our inner fears might even lessen, but we will never know until we face what they are.  By doing that we might become aware of leaders who scare us into acting in support of unhealthy human approaches versus those who aren’t trying to manipulate us by playing on our fears.

Just a spiritual thought.

Peace

Gary

How can more be less

   When it is related to thoughts

The more thinking I am doing

   The more I have to keep track of

   The more I can fret about

   The more I can analyze

   The more I can figure out

If I am not careful I will be trapped in my head

   I will be so busy

   All I may experience is the 100 hundred monkeys jumping up and down

But what if I want less to be more

   Then I will just notice my endless thoughts floating by

   I can let them go right on by

Now I can see the more in less thinking 

   I can hear the birds singing

   I can see the clouds changing shape

   I can feel my breath

There is a whole new world out there

   There is a whole new journey inside here

   The here of this moment

   The here of my heart  

   The here where everything works for good

I believe I will choose the more in less

   I hope I won’t be trapped into thinking about it

But if I do that is fine because I will learn again

   What is more and what is less

I went to Carver Elementary School

   I met some wonderful students

   They were creating their own book

       Miss Cely was helping them become an artist

       They were sewing their own creation

I went to Carver Elementary School

   I met some new friends

   Who were learning how to write about themselves

      I was helping them become an author

     They were using their own words

I went to Carver Elementary School

   I met some young people I wanted to know

   The story of themselves told me so much

      What and who they liked  

      Which told me how special they are

I went to Carver Elementary School

   I will never be the same

   Because of those fifth graders

      Who will be in my heart forever more

I am so glad I went to Carver Elementary School one day

Dear Friends,

How is your inner child doing?  Do you communicate with him or her on a regular basis?  Do you even believe this is possible? Or a part of our spiritual adventure?  If you answer no and believe it is silly to do this then just end your reading right now.  If you answered yes or I have piqued your interest read on.

I have had an ongoing relationship with my inner child for a number of years.  He was wounded in his childhood and appreciated my interest in how he felt.  It took him awhile to actually be able to trust me.  I, like so many others in his life, had deserted him or expected him to take care of their problems in this life.  He was hurt and overwhelmed by life.  It took a concerted effort on my behalf to earn his trust.  I spoke with him every day.  I encouraged him to trust me.  At first when I chatted with him in my mind he was silent.  It was so difficult for him to truly believe I would be there for him.  I hadn’t been there in the past so why would I follow though this time. I was very patient and gentle with him.  I never made fun of him or forced him to speak.  I reminded him I was going to take care of him and he didn’t have to take care of me anymore.  I was the adult and he was the child.  After a long time he began to come out of his shell and talk with me.  At first he was very angry at what had happened to him in the past.  He was upset with my not taking care of him.  I listened and was there for him.  Next he began to share the pain and how sad and hurt he felt.  As Father Thomas Keating said, “we are deeply wounded people.”  It was true with my little guy! My relationship with my wounded inner child over the last 20 some years has borne great fruit for him and for me.

Does this make sense to you?  If you have been in contact with your inner child I am sure you have found some ways that work for you.  If you haven’t been in contact, but would like to try let me suggest some possible ways to reach out and touch that rich part of yourself.  I take a walk every day and as part of that walk I do two things.  First I check in and ask my little guy how things are going.  Sometimes he chats and sometimes we just walk together.  It is up to him.  The other thing I do is I imagine holding him in my arms.  We usually don’t talk.  I then have found Mary the Mother of Jesus to be very helpful.  I ask her to hold him after I have held him.  Some days I know he needs to be held more than others and so I ask Mary to be extra gentle with him.  Because she is the example of a Mother who is always there for us, rather than our own mothers who failed us from time to time, my little guy truly loves this.  Another way of reaching out to our inner child is to have a picture of ourselves as a child and chat with him in that way.  Remember all of this is done in the mind and so our thoughts will become the conversation.  Trust God to make this so and it will be.

I have found this inner child work so helpful because so much of what happens in our lives today is reflected in what has happened in our past.  To move beyond the past into the present we may need to have some of our wounds healed or at least realize they are there.  One simple example is being told as a child we will amount to nothing by parents, teachers or religious folk.  Our inner child believes them because he or she was not able to think for them self.  They need us to help them see how those kinds of messages were false or we will simply spend our lives living them out again and again.  By us re-parenting that little child he or she can now begin to believe in themselves and suddenly they discover they have the potential to do things they never thought possible.  This now tells them, along with our encouragement, they are worth something because they are created in the Image of God.  One must die to their old self found in others words so they can be born anew to their new self in God.  It may take time and effort on our part, but it truly works.

One more aspect of this inner child work is found in freeing our creativity and playfulness.  When our little person is stuck then its creativity is also stuck.  Same goes with its playfulness.  I have found that the silly ones in this world often are fairly secure in who they are.  These individuals know it is ok to have fun.  The wounded children have been encouraged to hold back in their play so they watch others reactions to them.  They are the serious ones.  Funny thing is there are plenty of adults who have trouble with people being silly.  Might be the same reason.  How about creativity?  To be creative one is a risk taker.  This kind of person takes a chance on a new venture or way of looking at life.  Others may not agree, but that isn’t their problem.  Those who choose the road less traveled are the ones who either are not very wounded or have done some inner healing work.  They know they are here not for others but for themselves.  This will then lead them to being there for others.

Well if this makes sense to you I would encourage you to do this inner work with a trusted other.  Wounds need to be healed with the help of those who have the skills to walk with us through the valley of the shadow of our inner pain.  I’m talking about spiritual directors or counselors or those who simply are healers.  They often are the ones who have faced their own inner wounds and discovered they could not be utterly defeated by them, but actually made them stronger.

Good luck.

Gary

Dear Friends,

One of my favorite scriptures is Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane.  To me this is one of the places in the Bible where the human and divine come together.  Obviously we live in the tension between these two aspects of our time.  As the Apostle Paul said, “We are spiritual beings having a human experience.”  This is totally different from the idea of a human being having a spiritual experience.  The difference is if we are simply human then when we die we die!  If we are spiritual beings then when we die we return to our spiritual form.  This is the battle of Good Friday and Easter.  The last enemy Jesus defeated was death.  With His death on the cross, Jesus set us free to embrace our eternal divinity.  We do not have to be afraid of death ending life in any eternal sense.  The gift of Easter is now ours.

Let’s return to the Garden of Gethsemane and its role in this discussion.  Jesus tied to convince God that being alive, being human was more important than dying.  This is the major issue of this lifetime.  Is this all there is?  Do I hang onto this life at all costs?  Jesus was not just concerned about the torture He was about to encounter, although no one really likes the prospect of such acts.  Jesus was also dealing with whether He was a human being having a spiritual experience or a spiritual being having a human experience with torture and death being a part of His humanness.  Is it any wonder Jesus sweated blood over this?  The agony of deciding whether we are spiritual or human is something we struggle with as we look at our own death.

Jesus looked at all of the possibilities with God in the darkness.  Notice it was night.  Also pay attention to none of the disciples being awake to pray with Him.  There comes a time in each of our lives when we are alone to face our death.  It is often a very dark subject.  In addition, don’t waste time with the disciples who couldn’t stay awake.  They were doing the best they could.  Don’t waste time in your life either saying why couldn’t so and so be awake to life enough to give me my answer  for my death question.  Thank God they don’t because now God is the only source of the answer that we will find.  It is too easy to let someone else answer for us.  We have to sweat our own blood facing this question so we can realize we don’t have the answer either.  Only by going into the darkness of facing our own deaths can we ever become aware of the meaning of the words from Jesus, “Not my will be done, but Yours!  God help my unbelief.”

Death is the ultimate surrender.  We give up the only life we know, the human one, to hope for the only life God knows, the spiritual one which just happens to also include this brief human time.  Without the Garden of Gethsemane how could Jesus say on the cross, “Into Your Hands I commit my spirit?”  Moving from our will to God’s Will is moving from what we know to what God Knows.  So much of life is limited by what we know.  So much more of life is opened to us when we enter God’s Wisdom Realm.  This is the one that moves us from Good Friday to Easter.  The one that moves us from being human to being divine.  The one that opens our spirit to this life not being and en all be all, but just a part of a much greater spiritual journey.

I invite you to ponder such thoughts in your own Garden of Gethsemane.  Jesus is waiting for you.

Peace,

Gary

Dear Friends,

When Christmas is over how do you feel?  Rested? Relaxed?  Full of the Joy of the Season?  I read in one of my devotions today, “If we were in touch with the meaning of Advent and Christmas we would find ourselves overflowing with a Yes to the answer to those questions.”  I wonder.

This is a time of year when you can be caught in a double bind.  We know what we are supposed to feel, but rarely do we feel that way.  We actually feel just the opposite.  We have missed the meaning of the Season and because it is our fault we feel guilty about it.  That is the double bind we can get caught up in.  I say enough already!  If we are ever to understand the meaning of the Season we need to listen to ourselves, good or bad.

What is stopping us from feeling rested, relaxed and full of joy?  Maybe we are not rested because we have been doing a lot.  Is that all right?  Is it acceptable to be feel tired?  The Christmas Season is one in which we are very active.  It is meant for getting together with those we love.  We have a bit of time to recover now before the Mardi Gras Season.  But maybe we also need to rest from the time we spend with those who are not easy to get along with.  We can relax with the fact that some people are just a pain in the ……..  No matter how much we try to make it otherwise for them they can never accept Christmas isn’t all we hope it would be.  Even worse they simply look for things to pick on related to what we have done or haven’t done.  If we can let go of the feeling that somehow we are responsible for what they say, I’ll bet we will not feel as tired.  Resting in the Lord can sometimes mean accepting things and people as they are without having to change them.  By acting in that way we might even see a miracle or two happening in our relationship with that troublesome person.  Don’t count on it; just keep and eye open for God at God’s Best.  To relax after all is to let life happen.

What about the fact we don’t feel very joyful?  Sometimes we can have a very good reason for not feeling joyful at this time of year.  A loved one may have died during this Season.  Any anniversary of a death can be challenging.  It doesn’t matter how many years have passed , we remember the death again.  This can be extremely difficult now because we are supposed to be joyful, BUT we aren’t.  Pay attention to why not.  Listen to your heart.  Be kind to yourself.  Even if a loved one died at another time of the year we miss them, especially if they were a Christmas type person.  If we let ourselves be who we are we may join God in feeling Joy through eyes and spirits filled with tears.

A New Year is about to begin.  God only knows what this year will hold for us, but if we hold ourselves during the trying times or let God hold us as we are, we may find this year restful relaxing and full of joy no matter what happens.

Peace,

Gary